The Fire Became The Frostbitten

Only for selfish reasons
I regret the day that we met.
I wish summer could have passed
and left me in a hardened winter.

But summer did not pass
and it lingered upon my door.
The light chased the shadows
that haunted my heart in an ice box.

Now that summer is gone
I find myself in the declining autumn.
Still high from a kiss on the lips
and words that were sweeter on the ears.

It has been the loneliest four years
of absolute isolation.
I’ve lost a part of myself
in the frostbitten numb.

I hate the way that I hate myself
for allowing this to happen.
I hated myself before
but now self hatred burns in my core.

Another four years will soon pass
and this impression is going to last,
deep past the point of recovery.
Until the blades decide to cut me
deep past the point of intention
deep past the point of remssion
deep into the insanity
only known by the lonely.

I can feel my heart harden inside my chest
and my gray eyes can find no rest
as the weather freezes my warm heart
into a state of cardiac arrest.

I can say that I have cried more tears
than most could manage in a lifetime.
I am still young and have more to shed
over broken hearts mostly.

This was a heart led crash and burn
yet again the fire in hope’s seed
blossoms into something that won’t be returned
because we are condemned to be free.

So much for a “Not You” heart tattoo
that I found inked and penned also on you.
Except mine had your name on the banner
but yours just says “Not You Asshole”

Now I don’t even want another summer
none could match her personality.
For the birds sang sweeter
and the tulips looked neater.

So for selfish reasons
I regret the day that we met.
I wish a month could have passed
and left me in a hardened winter.

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The Fire Became The Frostbitten

2 thoughts on “The Fire Became The Frostbitten

  1. Not You says:

    He called it forever
    And I could not wrap my mind around it
    Forever was the amount of times
    I had to tell my brother to leave my room
    Forever was the forgetfulness on things I had to do
    Forever was an abstract term
    That only applied to the universe
    Not even time could surpass
    The limits of forever

    Like

  2. NOT YOU SAYS:
    He called it forever
    And I could not wrap my mind around it
    Forever was the amount of times
    I had to tell my brother to leave my room
    Forever was the forgetfulness on things I had to do
    Forever was an abstract term
    That only applied to the universe
    Not even time could surpass
    The limits of forever
    Like
    July 10, 2016 at 4:33 am Edit Reply

    Forever has no limits and has no place
    because it is not a created concept such as time and space.
    It takes time to take action and space to complete that action
    and forever precedes and exceeds all of Time’s exactions.
    Forever is infinite and it is how long that I’ll:
    regret not kissing all of your face,
    always feel your empty space,
    hate how I made you feel unsafe.
    I just wanted to cherish you in the time that we have left
    but I will not wait for you forever.

    My regrets start today
    but yours will start one of these tomorrows.
    You’ll figure yourself out
    and regret missing me for who I am.

    Like

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