Jessica

Only for selfish reasons
I regret the day that we met.
I wish summer could have passed
and left me in my hardened winter.

I have never been the vulnerable one,
I avoid it at the expense of my heart’s desire.
To turn it off and remain behind the walls
that I scavenged from life’s broken stone.

But the state of my heart has committed treason
and there is no way to escape judgement day.
When all the evidence has been presented
and she is left with a choice.

I know the truth and try hard to contain it
but it is always leaking out.
From a thousand daily daydreams
anticipating an hour spent with her.

I love the way that you hate yourself
to paper from pen, to your person within;
From the songs your radio sings
and those vibrating from your guitar strings.

I love the way you love all things nerdery
chess, cats, gaming, books that you read.
From adventure to Jean-Paul philosophy:
“individuality has to be earned and not learned.”

From what I can tell we have both cried more tears
than most could manage in a lifetime.
We are young and have more to shed
over broken hearts and broken thumbs.

You are beyond beautiful and I have lost my mind.
It is going to be a heart led fall this time.
I’m going to try and try and try and try,
until you ghost all my calls and travel by.

The time is coming when you should decide
if you can love me
or if we are
“condemned to be free.”