I am breaking and breaking red
a fire in my heart of self hatred
frostbitten lips left words unsaid
without an answer to save me.
My family has deaf ears and blind eyes
believing that I eventually will be alright
ignoring the truth that I daily cry
laughing it off “Don’t be so hard on yourself.”
I stare and stare and stare at the blade
I obsess over it breaking my vein.
Or to drink that mixture of poison I made
lingering in the darkest and messiest corner.
One day I am going to die